The great Australian BBQ

We bought a BBQ!!!! We are now true blue Australians!!! And the very Irish Tuxedo has passed the Ultimate Australian Citizenship Test; piecing together all components of a 7-burner BBQ (including wok burner) and its trolley into full working order, installing gas cylinder and preparing aforementioned BBQ for it’s inaugural dead-animal-flesh-charring … with the aid of a manual for a completely different brand and style of barbecue.

Our Rinnai Gourmet Grand Monaco/Crossfire had it’s first outing tonight. It is one sensational machine; something Cape Canaveral could be proud of (and with all burners set to High, quite likely to send the above apartments into orbit … hate the upstairs neighbour anyway, she moves furniture and sweeps the skirting boards very loudly at 3 am twice a week). Item; one reversible griddle plate (sooth one side, slightly ridged the other), one grid for char-grilling and immediate contact with flame, one cooking pan for roasts etc, and one intensely powerful side wok burner. (insert orgasmic moan here.)

I had had my eye on Rinnai BBQs for years, I wasn’t going to settle for less. We couldn’t afford one in the height of summer, but the grand thing about buying BBQs off-season is that they are cheaper. In this case, approximately $1,500.00 cheaper. Not baaaaad, matey. Rinnai aren’t cheap, being beautifully crafted stainless steel objets d’art that make most gourmet kitchens look pathetic and sad in comparison (certainly puts our miniscule 1.5 metre square excuse to shame).

The First Meal comprised meltingly tender sweet baby lamb chops, perfectly cooked courtesy of Tuxedo (another round of applause, please – Tuxedo has minimal culinary aptitude; he can cook scrambled eggs … and now holds the title for best burner of meat in an outdoor setting), served with cold beers and a very very small token salad. Future plans include 5 cm thick scotch fillet steaks, my super duper 500 g burgers, spicy red curry chicken kebabs, and a garlic and rosemary lamb roast. Not to mention a side of stir fried garlic prawns with mange tout peas, grilled tuna steaks with wanker-esque criss-cross char pattern, buttered corn in foil, maybe the very American hobo packs. Hell, I might even make soup on the thing. Not that I’ve been putting any thought into this, or anything.

The great thing about Perth is that you can BBQ throughout the year, it’s not by necessity a summer thing. Our verandah/balcony is under cover but with excellent ventilation, and keeping warm will not be a problem given the heat the thing gives off. So c’mon over.


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