Now is the month of May-ing

May is a significant month for Tuxedo and me. Apart from our wedding anniversary (02-02-02, cool eh), pretty much all other relationship anniversaries fall in May.

We met on 26 May 2000, in Belfast, Northern Ireland, while I was on holiday.

On 06 May 2001, after innumerable IM conversations, emails, letters, care packages, presents, and thousands of dollars and/or pounds of phone bills, Tuxedo came out to Perth to visit me, and meet my family.

On 06 May 2001 we had our first kiss, as well as …. well the other stuff.

On 11 May 2001, we got engaged (complete with specially designed and absolutely spectacular ring) (and absolute shock and surprise from my parents and siblings who had absolutely no idea any of this was going to happen – I prefer the fait accompli). We then started filling out the first of many, many, many enormous vile bureaucratic documents.

(Our moving-in-together anniversary is 01 August 2001, which breaks the mould; never mind.)

Yes we did have an unconventional kind of courtship, why do you ask? Certainly very old fashioned and textual rather than sexual, almost Austen-esque but with advanced telecommunications (also more laughs and ruder jokes). I must be the only irreligious, feminist, modern, experienced (read: not exactly a shrinking violet) woman in the 21st Century to agree to marry a fella not only before we’d slept together but before we’d even kissed!

For heaven’s sake! How did this happen?

Pre-Tuxedo I thought all that stuff about soul-mates and the-one-and-only was total delusional hippie hey-nonny-tra-la-la-sing-cuckoo shite (and I used to sing madrigals and John Dowland stuff so I know what I’m talking about). I was totally convinced when I turned 30 that I would never, ever, ever meet a man who not only liked me a hell of a lot, but would get my sense of humour and slightly twisted life philosophy, someone who I could let past my concrete-and-lead defences, be totally truthful with vis a vis my health conditions and restrictions and have him accept me and love me anyway.

Unknown to me I was looking for someone like Tuxedo – well, not just someone like Tuxedo, but Tuxedo himself; someone who would put the time into getting to know me, pulling down defences, offering love and a safe haven. Never mind being 15,000 kms apart (time differences can be a bloody nuisance, though). Months of open, honest communication with no bullshit or games, no taboo topics, developing friendship and trust and love, coupled with an intensely practical yet romantic outlook; well it did the trick. Unconventional, indeed, but it worked exceedingly well for us.

Turns out all that soul-mate stuff was pretty much spot on, but I/we had to be in the right place at the right time and beat the relatively steep odds – different hemispheres, the fluke of meeting in the first place, connecting as we did, working through the practical difficulties and stresses of a LDR (Long Distance Relationship) …

Six Mays on from our first meeting, our relationship has grown and developed into something I never could have imagined. Intimacy, most-desired company, best friends, laughs, support, trust, unconditional love, all of which gets better and better (let’s not forget the most incredible mind-blowing sex).

Sometimes the hippie hey-nonny-nonny shit is right on.

 

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Comments

  • tuxedo  On Saturday 6 May 2006 at 4:52 pm

    Very sweet. 🙂

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