Oscars 2006

Typically I didn’t see any of the films up for Big Awards. The only films I really really wanted to see that were “recently” in the cinema were The Constant Gardener and King Kong. A History of Violence was also top of my list but it didn’t even make it to Perth screens. BUGGER. I’ll have to wait until they come out on DVD – all April releases, I believe. The last movie we saw in cinema was Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe which I really loved [Tuxedo liked it much less – which is not to say he disliked it – but I think this is due partly to me being raised on the books and he not] and was immensely relieved they weren’t heavy-handed with the Christian motifs. As with all WETA productions the creatures, effects and design were beautiful. Liam Neeson was THE perfect voice for Aslan. The beavers, it goes without saying, were brilliant. Tilda Swanson was great as she is in everything but her costumes distracted me occasionally – kind of Oscar-worthy with the WTF? element.

And no I didn’t watch the Oscars either. I only watch the show when I’m really interested in who/what is up for awards, which is rare – The Return of the King was the only time I’ve really given a damn, to be honest. And to laugh at the OTT Gwyneth-Paltrow-esque speeches and the WTF WERE YOU THINKING dresses outfits costumes body coverings. Oh my god … I checked out the red carpet photos next day [as did every blogger on the planet] and my stream of consciousness went something along the following lines:

YUK YUK YUK. Why, Naomi, oh Naomi, Naomi – why? Okay so Nicole Kidman started this thing for nude-coloured dresses that’s been a feature of red-carpet ceremonies the last couple years and you’ve done the slinky beaded look [MOST successfully I might add] but you should have said NO to all the phoofy, sticky outy, used-tissues-stapled-together look. Particularly in that shade of nude-y knicker pink. BLEAAUUUGGGHHHH. In contrast, your [total two-timing asshole bastard] ex’s new inamorata Michelle Williams looked very pretty. Certainly eye-catching. HOWEVER, Michelle, the dress style and fit was gorgeous, colour not exactly subtle but that’s okay and you almost pulled it off [canary orange-yellow does not really suit very fair very blonde people] but why oh why that shade of lipstick? I’m all for boldness but you could have toned it down a teensy bit.

Rachel Weisz looked absolutely stunning and beautiful and perfect and radiant – but then she always does so the extremely-pregnant glow is a mere bonus [for her] and not the reason like all the other catty snarks have said. Of everyone, she and Wallace & Gromit were the only ones I cared about so wahey that they picked up the Oscars in their nominated categories.

Will not mention Ms Theron and her “ensemble”. I really cannot stand her, she rivals only Liv Tyler for my personal award for “Actress Most Likely To Make Me Shriek With Revulsion And Possibly Boke”; she looks 100% artificially created and maintained and no she canNOT act.

As for Reece Witherspoon, far as I can tell she plays exactly the same role in whatever movie she happens to be in – and yeah, real stretch for a Southern girl to copy the behaviour of another Southern girl. Oh the ACTING involved in changing one’s hair colour from blonde to brunette. I wouldn’t describe applying Clairol’s Hazelnut Brown as an Oscar-winning performance, exactly.

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  • joey_g  On Thursday 25 January 2007 at 4:48 pm

    do i need to be a member to comment on this blog?

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