OTTERKAT

The joys of November

otterkat — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 14:13:32 +0000

Herewith the usual humble cringing puppy-dog eyes apologies for the last fortnight silence: yep, I’ve been having a bit of a crap time [read: seriously scary and horrible and agonising pain episodes], spending WAY too much time in bed writhing and screaming in pain, and just feeling fundamentally vile because all I have in my gut is loads of heavy duty drugs and maybe an apple or so and it is churning around in a most disconcerting manner. Meantime the weather has been totally weird, humid and stormy then cold and fine then stormy again then hot then sudden rains . . . No wonder my body is writing outraged letters of complaint to the Chief Editor. Bleh.

HOWEVER.

November has really been pretty spectacular IF you overlook all the shite stuff, which I will proceed to do.

First off, books began arriving in the mail in dribbles and drabbles, from The Book Depository, and Fountain Books in Virginia, USA, and also from Paul Kidby / Sir Terry Pratchett. MEGA-W0000000000T!!!

I do have a major beef with The Book Depository, with their system of packaging up one book at a time instead of the whole lot or even a few in one corrugated cardboard envelope. I mean, presumably someone somewhere is trudging around a warehouse with an electronic pad thingy and a trolley, putting my order together. Why the fuck can they not be a wee bit more organised? ARGH. Okay so it’s about shipping costs blah blah blah but . . . It is an insult to my greenie leftie femmo bitch self over such a waste of materials.

It is fun though, I have to admit, wondering what’s going to be in today’s package/s. Tux and I have a sort of tradition of spreading out birthday gifts and treats [we don’t “do” Christmas] and there’s been the same kind of antici . . . . . . pation over The Weeks Of Books. Needless to say I have been doing a lot of reading, absolutely gorging on books be-yoooooooootiful books; hey if you are trapped in bed you may as well deal with your mail, right? There will be blurbs . . .

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The second exciting thing = which ties in with the Month Of Books, but deserves it’s own paragraph/s, and WILL have it’s own blurb – was the Official Release of Brenna Yovanoff’s new novel The Space Between !!! I was incredibly fortunate to actually WIN a copy of The Space Between from The Author Herself – too too exciting, I was leaping about and squealing like a little girl [well okay I am little but I’m hardly a girl anymore . . . ] [and unfortunately I haven’t received it yet so I can’t put up a blurb – Australia Post is really really sucking at the moment; everything Tux and I have ordered lately has been weeks and weeks late.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next big thing in November was, we saw PORTISHEAD !!! Like, LIVE !!! They are one of Tuxedo’s and my most favest bands, it has been one of our dreams to see them live. While many bands tour Australia, only a teensy weensy percentage actually visit Perth [it being the most isolated capital city in the world, and all]. Then, Portishead is known for making very rare live appearances; for them to come to Australia, and actually visit PERTH ??? Eeeeeeee.

They performed at the Belvoir Amphitheatre, an outdoor venue which used to be a quarry, or something, about 45 minutes drive from Perth out in the bush and farmland. It was an amazing evening, only marred by the absolute stupid bastard security guards and stupid bastard rules for NO FOOD NO BLANKETS NO CUSHIONS ETC. ETC. ETC. that had not been listed on the actual, you know, ticketing information. ARGH. Given that it WAS an outdoor venue and people kinda need things like blankets and cushions to sit on for six to eight hours [gates open at 1730, so you get there at 1600 to queue up, the main band come on at 2000 and perform for two hours plus . . . yeah you are gonna be hungry and uncomfortable and have a really sore arse]. Lovely, really advantageous for friendly crowd dynamics.

So, Portishead. Absolutely fucking awesome. If anything they are even better live than on studio albums! Okay they have an awesome sound and light / projection set-up but still. The quality and clarity of sound, the artists, Beth Gibbons’ voice oh-hells-bells-and-fucking-miscellaneous-pagan-gods how does she DO it? Absolutely mind-blowing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And Saturday 19 November was Tuxedo’s birthday yayyyyyy. The purchase of his beautiful Orbea tri-bike a few months back was early birthday-and-Christmas-present, so he didn’t get anything from me on the day apart from kisses hugs and marital advances *giggle*.

We met up with my parents and brother for brunch, which was just heaven, er, not. Food was great, my mother’s behaviour not, it really put a major dampener on our moods, actually not so much a dampener as a fire-starter, we were burning with fury for hours. But oh well . . . we got over it.

We went shopping for clothes for Tux, blowing his cash present from my parents in a couple of hours on summer clothes that weren’t-cycling-kit [really cute long denim shorts, Tees etc.]. We had a quiet night that night – well our bank balance is well in the red at the moment, so we couldn’t afford a nice ritzy dinner, but we managed Chinese takeaway and a bottle of Moet, not too shabby all the same.

It’s weird, how even when you are “grown up” you still crave the children’s birthday party and present high, even though you know it’s not sensible or attainable, and so birthdays can’t help but feel somewhat flat . . . Ah well all part of growing up and becoming mature and practical members of society *gag*.

Watching; Listening [30 October 2011]

otterkat — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 08:01:41 +0000

Watching:

Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides [BLU-RAY]

American Dad: Season 5

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Listening to:

Laura Marling -– I Speak Because I Can

Fave tracks –- Hope In The Air; Goodbye England [Covered In Snow]

Stornoway -– Beachcomber’s Windowsill

Fave tracks – Zorbing; I Saw You Blink

Coldplay – Mylo Xyloto

We only bought the CD a couple of days ago, but I’m enjoying it enormously so far. Better than Viva La Vida which did not grab me at all. Chris Martin’s voice has really matured, the tone and timbre have got much more depth, yet he can still go very light and high; a pretty good range for a “rock” singer. There’s a lot of Celtic-y themes which obviously I like, but there’s also a lot of electronic and U2-ish thrashy guitar. Very eclectic, which again I like.

Fave track so far – Paradise

Fairy floss

otterkat — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:12:01 +0000

Well, given the last post was kinda heavy – and there will be other “heavy” posts to come as I bare my soul a little bit - I figure a bit of light relief is called for, a little levity, something light-hearted.

Yep, time to talk politics.

JUST KIDDING !!! Feck I worked for State politics for several years and it was terribly dispiriting to an idealistic kid [yeah, at 21+ I was still definitely a kid].

My gorgeous friend K started her own blog up again – The Pink Powderpuff – a few weeks ago and has been posting about the most gorgeous goodies in make up, skin care, and candles which are her passion. K is totally pink-obsessed, and her alter ego is Miss Piggy, so don’t mess with her! Pink feather boas and karate chops rule!

There are millions of beauty blogs out there, I was obsessed with them for a while but grew bored very quickly. Many are just “collectors” who will blindly buy all the latest high-end extravagant make up collections and describe it in painstaking detail with billions of arty photographs, but would never ever actually use any of it. They are more like the curators of a personal materialistic museum.

K on the other hand knows what she is doing. She won’t buy any old tat or be taken in by hype and snake oil; she’ll pick the best and leave the rest, and if she says something is a LOVE / MUST HAVE item then it seriously is. She is an Expert with a capital E. [she’s also a trained make up artist as well as a trained clinical psychologist; a good mix, eh?]

My personal philosophy toward make up and skin care etc. is that I am willing to pay for quality; I will pay for products that work and live up to the hype, and have real science behind them. My current skin care routine is mostly Alpha-H products with a couple of “extras” from other ranges.

OF COURSE I have a Wish List for Make Up and Skin Care, and I update it regularly. As my budget is very tight I buy very little in actual fact; what I mostly do is sieve through all the latest hype and froth for the good stuff, if there is in fact any NEW good stuff.

I stagger out purchases of the “necessities” in my skin care routine. I have very good skin, smooth and very soft with zero wrinkles [smile and expression lines, yes; wrinklies no] and I intend to keep it looking and feeling good for as long as possible. Make up products are a bit trickier, and I have to save up and budget for new items. Needless to say I hardly ever impulse buy.

There are a number of items on my absolute-definite “Must Have” list at the moment. Basic skin care products need replacing, and some make up bits and pieces, ditto. My last “Girl Stuff” post was about DIOR and STILA, and I will be buying a few more items from those brands.

DIOR DiorSkin Forever Flawless Perfection Powder Compact Foundation in Ivory [RRP $ 85.00] will be perfect for buffing on lightly in the summer, either over foundation, tinted moisturiser or just by itself. I am also so impressed with the red lippie I bought from the new Dior Rouge Voluptuous Care “Haute Couleur” range that I have my eye on one or even two pretty rose-pink-ish lipsticks.

While I’m in Myer visiting my favourite DIOR counter, I’m going to hop over to the Biotherm counter for the White D-Tox Translu-Cell BB Cream SPF 25 [RRP $ 49.00]. BB Creams are all the rage at the moment; you can’t read a beauty blog or magazine without running slap bang into them. They are, basically, a multi-tasking product, supplying major skin care benefits, coverage, and sun protection. The Biotherm BB Cream – apart from giving me a good laugh at the entire name, D-Tox Translu-Cell oh for feck’s sake like - will be a good tinted moisturiser or base under powder in the summer.

I’ll be heading back to Mecca Cosmetica, this time for a couple of Mecca’s own brand products, which are really, really good quality; seriously exceptional. I want “To Save Face” Hydrating Facial Sunscreen SPF 30+ [100 ml = RRP $ 45.00], a fantastic moisturiser and sun protection product. It hydrates beautifully and gives excellent protection from the glaring Western Australian sun without having that ghostly ashy look or sticky SPF feel.

Mecca Cosmetica’s “Hand-Elujah” Age Defying Hand Treatment [100 ml = RRP $ 38.00] shall also be mine. I’ve finally used up the dregs of a couple of hand creams, and the “Hand-Elujah” is another excellent product with major skin care benefits for older hands, soaks in providing maximum hydration without masses of greasy residue that makes it impossible to go near a keyboard or mouse for hours afterward. Major win. I have used “Hand-Elujah” before, and I’m wondering why the heck I ever strayed in the first place. I usually stick with a great product when I find it, and refuse to be swerved by siren calls ie. hype from other brands, so I’m not sure what happened there.

I am SO impressed with the new STILA Smudge Stick Waterproof Retractable Eye Liners [RRP $ 42.00] that I want a couple more, so while I’m at Mecca I’ll pick up Stingray [blackest black] and Blue Ribbon [slate blue grey]. These eye liners are beautifully soft and gentle on eyes, they glide on smoothly, and have a small but good range of gorgeous shades and effects. When you swatch them on the back of your hand they are very glittery, but when applied you don’t look like a drag queen. There’s a definite pearly and twinkly component though, which I tend to think is very pretty and [ahem] eye-catching; go for Stingray and Lionfish [bronze-brown] for matte shades.

As for non-smudging, I had a six-hour nap while wearing Triggerfish and it wasn’t smeared all over my face when I woke up. There was just a bit of extra smokey-eye effect going on. Yet the liner was easily removed with a cotton pad saturated in eye make up remover; I pressed the cotton pad to my eye for several seconds, giving the liner a good “soak”, then it swiped right off, no rubbing and scrubbing required. [NB: I have very sensitive eyes and wear contact lenses, so I’m demanding when it comes to eye liners.]

At some stage I’ll be making a couple of online purchases. Again, these are planned and saved up for, so I’ll get to them when I can.

High priority for an online order are Sigma’s Synthetic Kabuki Brushes. I have been wanting a few synthetic “air brush” make up brushes for ages, for face and eyes, but couldn’t find anything much, let alone anything that impressed me. So when the divine K posted about these new SiGMAX synthetic brushes I was very excited! They are excellent quality brushes, with dense but soft bristles, well shaped, and even better, there’s a wide range of types of make up brushes.

On my list are the Flat Top and Round Top Kabuki brushes [USD 16.00] for liquid foundation and powder application; these make application and buffing a breeze, and give a wonderfully smooth air-brushed look.

I will also get two of the smaller “Precision” brushes [USD 14.00]. The Precision Round Top Kabuki will be perfect for applying and buffing concealer around the eye and other areas to a perfect finish [yep even better than fingers or sponge, believe me], and the Precision Tapered Kabuki brush for putting on eye shadow base and highlighting eyes, the brow bone and cheekbones, using eg NARS’ Liquid Illuminator in Copacabana, or even Orgasm. [That name has begun to seriously piss me off; it’s just not witty or edgy anymore – if it ever was – now that Mr François NARS has introduced so many more “Orgasm” products than the original blush.] NARS’ Copacabana or Becca’s Shimmering Skin Perfector in Pearl are perfect for us pale-palefaces.

Sigma’s Premium Travel Brush Kit in “Classy In Silver” is also calling my name. The seven brushes are fantastic quality [most brands skimp on the quality of their travel brushes vs. their full-size counterparts] and would be excellent additions to my make up brush collection in their own right, let alone the convenience of popping them in my make up bag. Maybe another order at a later date . . . although the USD to AUD currency conversion works out exceptionally well for Australian customers at the moment so it would be a very good deal.

The truly mind-boggling thing about these brushes is the price; even after currency conversion and shipping from the U.S. they are only a few dollars more than Models Prefer [available at Priceline etc.], with several different synthetic brushes to choose from and enormously better quality! The quality is better-than-MAC . . . particularly as MAC doesn’t have professional synthetic kabuki brushes like these!

So that’s my rather LARGE dose [oops] of escapist sweet fluffy stuff today . . . I could do with more of it to be honest! The pain levels have been completely fucking OTT these last few days, lots of Very Bad Days, I’ve been crying as much with frustration and anger as agonising pain. I’m not good at the acceptance thing, obviously!

Ungoodhealth 01

otterkat — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:03:40 +0000

Taking such a long break from blogging was not something I wanted to do. Circumstances forced it upon me, as I’ve said before, because of health issues blah-di-blah. It’s also why I’m posting so often now – and drafting, making notes and planning other posts – because I can.

This is actually very difficult for me to write about. My personal bête noir, my health. I don’t like talking about it for so many reasons, the main ones being:

it is pretty fecking boring;
it’s difficult trying to explain it without sounding like I’m feeling all sorry for myself, whingeing and whining, no matter how factual I try to be;
I’m a very private and introverted person, and it’s kind of been drilled into me [via my rather oppressive upbringing, and various unpleasant life experiences] not to divulge or share such information – let alone talk about my feelings; and
the medical issues are kind of complicated.

See, I have several different disorders / diseases, and each one by itself can have a major detrimental impact on a person’s physical health and quality of life. In my case they have a cumulative effect, intertwining and snowballing all the “original” symptoms and issues.

I give you: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome – Hypermobility Type; Occipital Neuralgia and generalised neuropathic pain; Ankylosing Spondylitis – or Spondyloarthritis – arthritis of the spine and pelvis; Fibromyalgia; miscellaneous neurological odds and ends including migraine, vertigo, nystagmus, ataxia; Coeliac Disease; osteoporosis; severe Vitamin D, iron and B-12 deficiencies; blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda.

In Real Life all that basically translates to severe chronic debilitating pain due to problems with my soft / connective tissue, muscles, nerves, joints and bones. And other fun stuff. And no real “cure” for any of them. Wheeeeeeeee.

Anyway. I never wanted to stop writing, either the blog/s or anything else, but I just had to, I didn’t have much choice in the matter. For the last couple of looong years, and despite massive amounts of a range of powerful pain-killers and medications, I have been bed-ridden, just trapped there sobbing, whimpering, screaming in agonising pain.

I simply haven’t been able to function well enough to write; at times it has even been too difficult to read ! The horror! Books and reading are like breathing to me. On a “good day” I might be able to sit up in bed and read a book, or listen to music, browse the web, watch a movie for a few hours. Tuxedo has set up my laptop and networked the house so I can listen to any music anytime I want, watch movies and TV, etc. He’s a genius and the best person ever, in the way he thinks about me and takes care of me. He gets his own posts *grin*.

It’s so difficult to explain to other people how that degree of pain just stops you functioning, no matter how much you want to do things. Again, frustration! Even my family still doesn’t “get it”; that it’s not a matter of “won’t come over for dinner”, it’s a matter of “can’t get out of bed, can’t get dressed and made up, can’t sit up to dinner and engage with people”.

I have excellent mind-over-matter abilities, and have been pushing through the pain to go to school and get good grades, then uni ditto, then work at high level jobs for approx. 15 years . . . But the way things are now, I simply can not. Can-denotes-ability, and all that.

Yep, the last couple of years have been a total desert, a scene of desolation, day after day of screaming, burning pain in every fibre of my body. Nerves, muscles, joints, skin — Hey I’m not paranoid –my body really does hate me!

So no writing. Pretty much no interaction with other people. Certainly no horse-riding, which I love so much [I got back into riding in 2008 – check out the old entries if you like] . It’s been devastating, really. When I think about this year, and last year, and the year before that, and as I write this, I’m just filled with grief and bitterness and all sorts of emotional flotsam and jetsam and shit.

[Throughout all this I have managed to keep up with most of my rehab / physical therapy exercises. I focus on maintaining the strength of my core muscles – pelvis, abs and back, a lot of Pilates stuff, as well as shoulders, arms, and legs. “I may be lying here whimpering in pain with tears rolling down my face, but I can damn well do some core work and bridging, sit ups, stretches and leg lifts . . .” So that’s something to be a little bit proud of, I guess.]

To be continued . . . To more positive things. Like talking about Tuxedo and how awesome he is. About major strides I’ve made in my mental and emotional “head space”, so I can talk about stuff like this at all. There is progress. An oasis in the desert, heh.

Help somebody

otterkat — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 01:18:47 +0000

Brenna Yovanoff is one of my favourite new-found writers. I have always loved the Fantasy and Urban Fantasy genres, and I enjoy the YA entries into that pool. There are probably a couple of blurbs / reviews of Urban Fantasy / YA books on this blog. My Books Wish List has kind of exploded recently . . . and the price of books in Australia is ridiculous! [Riddikulus! even]

Brenna is part of the Merry Sisters Of Fate group with Tessa Gratton and Maggie Stiefvater. It was via my somewhat fan-girly love of Maggie S. that I discovered Brenna and Tessa, was captivated by their writing, and overcame my long-time dislike of short stories in the process! I have since ordered books by Brenna – The Replacement, and The Space Between is being published in November – and Tessa’s Blood Magic. I can’t wait to get my fuzzy little paws on them, along with Maggie’s just-released The Scorpio Races. Truly an embarrassment of riches! There will be blurbs [and going by my recent BookDep order - see previous post - and others in the queue, there will be LOTS of blurbs].

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Anyways, this is actually an entry for a contest for Brenna’s new book The Space Between, about Daphne, the daughter of fallen angel Lucifer and demon Lilith, who leaves her home in the city of Pandemonium [in what is essentially Hell] to rescue her brother Obie who has somehow gone missing whilst doing good works on Earth. One of the main themes of The Space Between, says Brenna, is “helping people who just aren’t in a position to help themselves.”

The contest then is “ . . . to tell a Good Samaritan story; when someone helped you, and they didn’t have to; or maybe, when you helped someone when you could tell they needed it . . . ”

I could just outline what Tux does for me every single day, especially the really, really, REALLY bad days, but I’d rather not, for this. Instead I give a very little story, no drama, maybe everyone has done the same, maybe it is trivial,; yet it was something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time, and even if it’s a small thing it still is meaningful and important.

Here in Perth we have a lot of homeless people; it’s a major problem that the government ignores, or responds to by cutting funds to shelters and mental health facilities even further. I donate clothes, and put together basic “kits” of make up products for the women’s shelters, but that’s about all I can do these days [given my own health issues].

So; this particular day was actually the first time I was up, dressed and make up on, and out of the house – for something other than some kind of medical appointment - for weeks and weeks. Tux and I did some bits of shopping and browsing in town. then stopped for a break and a coffee.

At a distance from the café’s posh [-ish] tables and chairs, with the gorgeous blue sky blazing overhead, was a public bench with a homeless bloke half lying on it. I had seen this guy around the CBD before; he is a fairly fearsome looking character with a mass of grizzled hair and beard, tall and emaciated, his eyes a bit wild looking as he mutters to himself and pushes his life’s possessions around in an ancient little granny-cart.

Lying on the bench, he looked exhausted and depressed. Without thinking, I stood up and limped over. Up close he seemed more alarming, or anyways I was more aware of being small and physically fragile .

“Excuse me . . . “ he looked up. “I don’t want to offend you but . . . would you like a cup of coffee or something?”

Raised shaggy eye brows, then a nod. Like he couldn’t quite believe it, or understand. Like he was more used to being invisible.

When our orders came I took the tray over to The Bloke On The Bench; one large latte and I’d ordered a huge ham and cheese panini for him as well. I placed the tray on the bench next to him and smiled up at him sideways, just a little. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it – because it wasn’t – it shouldn’t be – a big deal. He looked like he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it either.

Back at our table Tux and I lingered over our coffees and cake-y things [I had a gluten-free apple-ginger-almond cake; yum. I reckon I could easily figure out how to make it myself ]. My back was to The Bloke On The Bench but Tux was able to sneak a look. Bloke was sipping his coffee slowly, and taking nibbles of the panini. He wrapped up half and tucked it into his granny-cart, and with a look and a nod in our direction he was off on his way.

And that was it. No song and dance or drama. No fuss. Even though the odds were high that would be the only meal he would get that day; and who knows where he’d sleep that night.

What was strange and horribly cringe-making though were the looks I was getting from other customers and people around me. As though it was a really weird, strange thing to do. As if I was somehow eccentric or bizarre.

Isn’t it a shocking indictment on our “First World” society; that it is considered weird behaviour to buy a hungry stranger a sandwich. Well tough, call me weird, call me eccentric, but from now on anytime I stop and see someone like The Bloke On The Bench I’m going to buy him / her a fecking coffee and a sandwich.